The Second Cup of Coffee Is Always Lousy

I love the first cup of coffee in the morning like nobody’s business. The aroma turns my head and draws me near as it brews. The sound of the coffee dripping into the carafe brings excited anticipation. And when I pour that first cup, I marvel at the multi-colored bubbles that form, thanks to the … Read more

Toothpaste Tubes

It used to be that how one squeezed the toothpaste tube could ruin a marriage. If you were a ham-fisted buffoon that grabbed the tube in the middle, you’d soon trap a third of the toothpaste at the bottom. And what a horrible reminder to your wife that she would never be caressed gently or … Read more

The Immutable Laws of Comedy

I. If something bad happens to me, that’s tragedy. But if it happens to you, that’s comedy. II. Tragedy plus time equals comedy. III. Everything is really just a dick joke. IV. Getting hit in the balls is always funny to someone. V. Words with the ‘K’ sound are funny. DISCUSSION These laws have been … Read more

How to Invite a Man to a Fight

Amongst men, if you want to pick a fight with another man, you should enter the room in anger and throw something at him. Other acceptable forms of the invitation to fight are the two-handed push to the chest, the finger poke to the sternum, and insulting his mother. This formal invitation is often seen … Read more