Story
Practical Jokes Not to Play
I have never had good luck playing practical jokes. They generally backfire, and I feel awful. I feel awful right now. When I was four years old, my mother took me along shopping. I thought it was great sport to hide from her while she shopped. I would duck in and out of the clothes … Read more
Sic Semper Tyranus — Water Bottles
I am no longer a fan of water bottles purchased by the case, thrown in the shopping cart as an afterthought, and left in the trunk of the car just in case someone gets thirsty. I am not interested in the fact that the walls of said bottles are really thin, and thus use less … Read more
The Ultimate Sacrifice
The house where I grew up was small, but we were happy. Relatively happy, I should say, because we didn’t know any better, and pretty much everybody we knew lived in the same size house. There was, however, a problem that was difficult to ignore: one bathroom for five people. Looking back, I now believe … Read more
Big vs. The Wizard of Oz
I caught the ending of “Big” the other day as I was flipping through channels. To quote a wiser man than myself, “Big” is one of those movies that, if you happen to stumble upon it as you are getting dressed, even if you are just-out-of-the-shower-bare-ass naked, you will sit on the edge of the … Read more