Do You Know Anyone Who Was a Jerk But Turned Out Okay?

Back in high school there was a minor bully I’ll call John. He was really more of a toady, hanging around some of the tough kids. Or maybe he was more of a sidekick, like Garth was to Wayne, Barney was to Fred, or Sancho Panza was to Don Quixote.

Regardless, when I had to deal with John one-on-one, he liked to mention his steel-toe boots, and how he could break bones by kicking people if he felt like it. Maybe that made John more like Hit-Girl, or maybe Kick-Ass.

I can’t recall if he was a year ahead of me or a year behind because we were never in any classes together. I was on a college-prep curriculum, and I think he may have been in the automotive arts program.

I think it was pretty cool that there were dedicated programs for automotive repair, electronics, DECA, and beauticians back in high school. It seemed cool that there were these possibilities packed into a single building, and provided lots of corners and corridors where kids could hang out and smoke. I wasn’t interested in those programs, but I did take Home Economics for a couple of years so that I could learn to sew while being in the general vicinity of the Jeannies, Lauras, and Michelles of my small world.

Candid snapshot of me in high school with my numerous friends…

Returning to our minor bully, I never worried too much about John as a direct threat. He was like one of those lesser dogs in the pack that bark and growl, but don’t really bite. Although I’m sure if I’d been knocked to the ground by one of the real bullies, John would have kicked me in the nuts with his steel-toe boots.

Let Bygones Be Bygones

I bear no ill will. I was as stupid as anyone at that age, and didn’t wise up until my late twenties. (Don’t get me started on poor choices and missed opportunities.)

Only the most degenerate among us fail to wise up eventually, and John became a successful real estate broker. If I met him today, I wouldn’t even mention my low-key fear of him; instead, I’d want to talk about his newsletter.

I Didn’t See That Coming

It turns out John publishes a periodic newsletter about real estate. It’s a smart move to attract folks that might want to make a deal. He mentions recent sales, price movements, and available homes in the area.

What blows my mind is that he quickly transitions to a folksy presentation of recipes, gardening tips, and seasonal chores.

Because I haven’t met him face-to-face in over 40 years, I still picture this baby-faced kid with steel-toe boots and his mildly menacing stare now talking about how the prime rate is affecting mortgages, a great chicken paprikash recipe for your slow cooker, and a reminder to get your tomatoes off the vine and your hoses put away before the frost that might hit before the weekend.

As an homage to the would-be punk who grew up to be wise-guy with a newsletter, I offer a fresh take on the Mickey Picayune…

Recent Book News

My slow-burn thriller and family crime drama, Ruthless, was in the collection of stolen books maintained by LibGen and PiLiMi and subsequently used by Anthropic to train the A.I. large language model (LLM) in further violation of copyright law. A settlement may be in the offing in the class-action suit. If agreement is reached, I’ll eventually get paid more for the pirating of my book than all my writing income in my life combined.

Some familiar names are making news with bestsellers as Robert Galbraith (the pen name of notorious transphobe JK Rowling) and Colleen Hoover. Sadly, none of my books have cracked the top ten, yet.

Yet.

Quick and Easy Slaw Recipes

I am indebted to my friend, Linda, for reminding me how easy it is to make a delicious slaw. For a cool, creamy, crowd pleaser, start with half a cup of mayo and blend in three tablespoons of your preferred vinegar (white, apple cider, or red wine). Add a teaspoon of celery seed, then salt and pepper to taste. Dump a bag of shredded cabbage (bi- or tri-color works great too!) and mix it up.

For more of a vinaigrette vibe, start with three tablespoons of vinegar (again, your choice) and whip in two tablespoons of oil (canola or olive, whatever). Add a tablespoon of sugar (cuts the vinegar’s edge), a teaspoon of celery seed, and salt and pepper to taste. Dump in the aforementioned cabbage and have at it.

These are best chilled but if you’re hungry go for it.

Smart Moves in the Yard for Fall

This is the best time of year to overseed your lawn. I really wanted to do it this year but I’m wore out. If your lawn needs it, consider aerating first to loosen things up. Spread the seeds like they were free, then fertilize those areas.

The pro-tip I learned this spring was to smother the seeds in peat moss. You can pre-mix them, but that’s even more work, but you be you. When you water the seeds—and you HAVE TO WATER—the peat moss retains moisture while also providing nutrients.